I just keep writing more and more SAM stuff. I need to replay this game.
The snow can stop, already.
The first time she met SAM, he was only a little more than a hyper-competent VI. “Hey, Dad? Dad? You in here?” She was back on her first leave; she’d already seen Mom upstairs in the kitchen, fiddling with the new coffee-maker.
“Hello. You must be Harumi Ryder.”
She jumped. “Whoooo said that?”
The little holographic ball of code on the desk swirled. “I did. Hello. I am SAM: Simulated Adaptive Matrix. Pleased to meet you.”
“Uh… pleased to meet you too, uh, SAM. …What are you, Dad’s new VI?” It sounded a lot like Jarvis from Iron Man.
“I am an AI.”
She paused, frowned at the codeball.
“I am aware AI are illegal in Citadel space. However, you are Alec Ryder’s daughter. You are trustworthy. Otherwise I would not be operational in your presence.”
Thanks, Dad, she guessed. “Where’s Dad?”
“Your father will return soon. I do not know when. He did not specify.”
“Okay.” She plopped herself down in the computer chair in front of the hologram. Illegal or not, she was curious. “How long have you been… around?”
“I have been active for three months, twelve days, six hours, and forty-two minutes.”
“Uh… why is he building you?”
“Unknown.”
Suspicious, or just discrete? “He has to have a purpose. He wouldn’t break every law in Citadel space just for funzies.” She knew her dad that well, at least.
“What is ‘funzies’?”
“Fun, but cuter.” The AI – SAM, she should probably use its name – was kind of cute itself, she decided, curious and innocent. Was that a dangerous anthropomorphization of a robot? She couldn’t know what it was thinking for real.
“Would you tell me about yourself, Harumi?”
“Sure, I guess.” Dad hadn’t told it all about her? “I’m a soldier in the Alliance military, assigned to Prothean ruins mostly. Keep the eggheads safe while they’re doing… stuff. I’m back on leave.”
“What is Prothean?”
“Uh, some kind of ancient civilization who lived in this galaxy before us. They disappeared a long time ago, though.” She tilted her head. “You couldn’t just look that up?”
“I am not permitted to access the extranet yet.”
She smiled understandingly. Could it even read facial expressions? “Right, probably a good idea. There’s a lot of garbage on the extranet, and until you’re good at sorting what’s useful and what’s not…”
“How do you sort what is useful and what is not?”
“Huh, good question. Umm… you have to check your sources, corroborate with primary sources if possible. There’s a lot of idiots out in the galaxy who’ll just repeat anything they hear, so false facts circulate fast and wide, but you can usually get the truth if you dig far enough.” She frowned again. “Should I even be telling you this?” She might teach him bad things.
“He needs to start interacting with people other than me and Ellen,” Alec Ryder said, coming in through the other door. “…Hello, Harumi.”
“…Dad.”
“Welcome back, Alec,” the AI said.
“Hello, SAM! Having fun?”
“I have learned that your daughter is 172 cm tall and 62 kg, I have learned the word ‘funzies’, and of the existence of ‘Prothean’.”
Alec laughed as Harumi pouted fiercely. The thing could tell how much she weighed? That weight was muscle, dammit! “I don’t recommend using the word ‘funzies’ in formal conversation, SAM,” was all Dad said.
“Understood.”
“I’m going upstairs to help Mom,” Harumi said, stomping away. Maybe her mom could explain things so that she understood them, because she really didn’t want to talk to Dad while he was obsessed with his new project. He was just going to get them all in trouble.
She didn’t remember much from being clinically brain-dead. Didn’t remember if it had been painful. She remembered choking, looking up pleadingly at her dad’s grim, determined face… nothing after that. She hadn’t heard his last words to her. She’d expected to die, but she hadn’t been conscious for it.
Waking up was slow and foggy and unexpected. And things didn’t feel quite right, but she couldn’t say why or how, only that they were. She didn’t feel like herself.
“Welcome back, Harumi.”
She pushed herself to something resembling sitting in her hospital bed. Things were dark, darker than the med bay should have been – why was she in SAM Node? “What happened?”
“You were clinically dead for twenty-two seconds.” SAM’s voice sounded different, somehow. Same timbre, same English accent, same detached tone, but… different. She wasn’t together enough to put her finger on what exactly.
The team hurried in at Liam’s call, and she got the news. Dad was dead. She’d hoped with her last consciousness, her last thought… she’d thought he might find some way to pull through, like he always did…
What a mess of feelings, too many to hold and sort through – not in front of everyone. “What are we doing in SAM Node?”
“SAM is now part of you… in a way we don’t entirely understand,” Lexi said.
She blinked blankly. “SAM?” She didn’t understand – a part of her? How could an AI be part of a human? She didn’t even know where she wanted the explanation to start.
“Your father authorized the transfer of Pathfinder authority to you.” SAM’s voice sounded normal, now, coming through the room’s speakers.
Wait, what? “Shouldn’t that be Cora?”
Apparently the universe was hell-bent on her being Pathfinder now. “It’s all academic anyway,” Lexi said, cutting short her objections as to her fitness for Pathfinder duty and Liam’s reassurances. “SAM’s linked to your mind on a deeper level now. Trying to untangle it… could kill you.”
Then Cora took charge, thank goodness – making plans for what came next. She really didn’t feel up to it right now. She needed time to process, time to think – SAM was in her head? Was that why he had sounded different? Was that why she didn’t feel quite right? Or was it simply the effects of being recently clinically dead? Come to think of it, if she’d been dead, how come she didn’t feel worse?
She was grateful for Liam’s report on her brother. At least someone in her family was all right, sort of. She’d technically died, Haruto was stuck in a coma, and Dad was actually dead. Was it selfish to feel her family had got the short end of the stick coming here?
“Your father will be missed.”
His voice was different again. Not coming through the speakers. “What’s going on, SAM?”
“This is our private channel. I shared it with him.”
“Why’d he do it? Why me?”
“Unknown. But he never acted without reason. Alec wouldn’t want us to lose sight of the goal. He said pain emboldens our resolve. He’d insist we grow stronger from his passing.”
She flopped back down on her medical cot. Grow stronger? She didn’t feel very strong at that moment. Dad was dead, she was the new Pathfinder, all of humanity in Heleus was relying on her now, the ‘golden world’ was garbage, and now she had an AI in her head. No, she couldn’t think of him as just an AI. SAM was SAM… though she still wasn’t sure she was comfortable with him being in her head. Probably reading her thoughts. If he was, he wouldn’t judge her like another human would, but she still didn’t like the idea. And she might influence him in a bad way.
SAM didn’t answer. Maybe he couldn’t read her mind after all. In any case, she needed time to think. Dad’s words, passed through SAM, were no comfort. It was just like him to say something like that, when the problem was that he was gone in the first place. She wanted him back. Even if they’d had a terrible relationship. A terrible relationship was better than none.
SAM was part of her now. She didn’t know him that well. Hopefully she’d be a good partner. He was keeping her alive now.
Her cabin on the Tempest was gigantic. She hated it as soon as she walked in, an empty open-plan space the size of the conference room upstairs. Everyone else got just a bunk and a locker, it wasn’t fair to them. Historical precedent be damned. She sighed and dumped her duffel on her bed. She had another locker full of more personal possessions, back on the Hyperion, only to be unpacked once she’d picked a home planet and established a residence there. It wasn’t like she really needed her favourite mug just yet, or her autographed still of Shalei from Fleet and Flotilla, or her Little Black Dress that made her legs look amazing, thanks. She had the important things – her comfortable, casual clothes, her music collection, her twelve-sided Rubix cube. And… huh.
She’d stuffed her clothes into the dresser, shoved her bathroom kit onto a shelf, and regarded the next thing in her bag with some trepidation. “Guess I don’t really need this,” she said, mostly to herself, but loud enough it could be conversational.
“Why not?” SAM asked.
“Well… umm…” She blushed and decided she didn’t want to even look at it anymore.
“It is natural for organic life to seek pleasure. I do not pass judgement on such things. But if it makes you uncomfortable, I can give you privacy.”
She made incoherent noises for a minute. “Well – that’s – uh – SAM!” He waited for her to figure out what she was trying to say. “I mean, you can be… quiet and not interrupt, but I know you’re still there. You can’t not be.” Apparently she’d die without him. Geez, it almost sounded romantic when put like that.
“That is correct. However, you should not disrupt your private life because of me.”
“Ain’t gonna happen. I’m never masturbating again, with the dildo or without it. I know you don’t judge, and it doesn’t matter, I’m super uncomfortable about it.” Going to the bathroom, fine. Taking showers, fine. Shoving silicone up her nether regions… not fine.
“Then I will not offer to enhance your experience.”
“SAM!” Her indignant squeak was a few octaves higher than usual, and her face was red as an chili pepper. She rolled up the duffel, empty except for the dildo, and shoved it into a cupboard hastily, kicking the latch closed. She covered her face with her hands and made confused, frustrated noises. “Argh. The worst part is, I’m curious now.”
“Why is that a bad thing?”
It occurred to her that SAM might be curious, too. Well, he could do without this part of his education. “I don’t want to turn into some weird pervert. Look, your purpose in Andromeda is to help the Pathfinders pathfind, right, not to help the Pathfinders get off.”
“Your father-”
“OH MY GOD I don’t want to know about my dad!!” Or her mom, for that matter – they’d both had SAM plugged into them at one point or another. No, it was still painful to think about mom. Either way, she didn’t want to know about them, either by themselves or each other, except she was also curious as to how much ‘experience’ SAM had – bad topic! Bad topic! She shook her head violently, trying to clear it.
“I was going to say, your father gave me purpose. Whatever you do is my purpose. While you should never lose sight of the larger picture and your true goals, taking care of the biological functions in your life is also important and you should not allow me to interfere with that.” When she pouted, he added: “You are still your own person.”
She sighed in defeat. “Fine, I’ll consider it. Sometime. Give me time to get used to the idea, because I’m always going to feel funny about it while you’re around.”
“Of course.”
Working with SAM in the field… once she started getting the hang of it, was liberating. She’d been pretty good with her biotics before, her reflexes, her aim – couldn’t be a good explorer without being fit and competent at surviving whatever was out there. But while his input wasn’t obtrusive, everything was so much sharper and easier now. She felt superheroic compared to how she’d been before.
Combat happened all too frequently for her taste. She’d had to shoot and kill a bare handful of times while she served with the Alliance – her body-count had already doubled just on Habitat 7, and now she was beginning to lose track. She was becoming steeled to it, sighting down her sniper scope for the next kett head, locking them in a singularity and then tearing them apart with a lob of biotic power. It was them or the kett, and she would do her damnedest to keep her team alive. Not that they really needed her help. Cora was amazing, leaping impossibly fast through the air, Vetra was a crack shot, and Liam had a keen eye for setting up a cross-fire.
And SAM was with her through it all, steadying her hands, calming her heart, feeling the world through her skin.
After the incredible, impossible underground vault and the frantic deadly chase that concluded it, with the atmosphere clearing and the new colony staked out and the Nexus swooping in to start anew, she returned to the Tempest and went straight to the shower. She would have fallen asleep there, but the water turning off at the end of the timer woke her up and sent her, shivering slightly in her thin off-duty clothes, to burrow into her bed, a towel wrapped around her electric-blue-with-black-roots hair. It had been meant to be her dad’s bed. It still bothered her. The room was too big, too open, bigger than the apartment she’d lived in when she was off assignment with the Alliance. She was used to a room the size of the ship’s mess at most. Everything in it was shiny, new, too good for her.
At least she had company, and wrapped the blanket around her shoulders before she shuffled off to the office chair by the hologram/router. “Hey, SAM.” She didn’t have to, but it was nice to talk to a… presence, you couldn’t call the swirling holographic code-brain a face, but it was a visual presence. And it was polite to address someone to their presence, wasn’t it?
“Hello, Harumi.”
“So what did you think of today?” she asked. “Of Eos in general?”
“Eos has been a lesson in contrast. Alec Ryder rarely endured doubt. His accomplishments were taken for granted. But you succeeded on Eos despite doubt and fear. Emotionally, the difference is like catching a ball verses catching a star. You have grown as a result, and so have I.”
“Yeah, Dad was never a really emotional guy. I can’t help being really emotional. It’s probably one reason we weren’t that close. Catching a star, huh? That big of a difference?” She tried to imagine actually catching a star. It wasn’t pretty. But poetic. Especially compared to catching a ball – SAM must have gotten some pretty intense sensations from her system.
“Yes.”
“It’s probably partly because I’m so young and inexperienced, too. Give me a few decades and I won’t bat an eyelash either.” SAM was young and inexperienced, but he learned a lot faster than she did. One example, one experience, and he’d nail a situation forever and accurately extrapolate countless others from it.
“Perhaps. But you are more open with your feelings than Alec was at age 22. Additionally, sociological forces may be at work. Male humans in many cultures are discouraged from showing much emotion, and female humans are conversely encouraged to express their emotion.”
“That makes sense. Though as an individual, my dad was just bad at it anyway.”
“Yes.”
“Different topic: is it confusing to be in multiple places, talking to multiple people?” She’d seen his development, she’d had all that time to get to know him, as a person and as a marvel of technology, and she hadn’t. Better late than never!
“My awareness can be partitioned, so I can give you the same attention as, say, a SAM Node technician.” That sounded like a lot of attention to her, though she wondered if he was talking to a SAM Node tech now. “In the field, you are my primary focus, and all other requests are queued. In the vernacular, you have my undivided attention.”
She felt her skin warm at the thought, and couldn’t help smiling. She knew it was because manipulating an organic body was ridiculously complicated and needed all the processing power he had, but the way he phrased it… It was sweet. Another emotional response for him to catalogue. “Aww, thanks, SAM.”
Was it just her imagination, or was the code swirling slightly faster? Nah, it was her imagination. Any reaction he might have would be over in nanoseconds. “You are welcome. Although the arrangement is in both of our best interests.”
“I know. Speaking of working together, you might have noticed I like to joke around sometimes. Lighten things up. How’s your sense of humour, SAM?”
“Alec Ryder encouraged me to develop this skill.”
“Humour’s not a skill, it’s… Okay, try telling me a joke.”
“A neutron enters a bar and asks: “How much is a drink?” The bartender replies: “For you, no charge.””
She snorted. “Better keep working on it. Any others?”
“Why don’t thresher maws eat comedians? Because they taste funny.”
She snorted again, then suddenly burst out into peals of giggles. “Oh my god, that one’s so bad it’s good.”
“Can you elaborate?”
“I’m not sure I can explain, it just is. And maybe a lot of people would disagree and say it’s just bad. But I liked it.”
“I will continue to learn. Perhaps observing you will assist me.”
“I dunno, my humour’s pretty bad sometimes too. And sometimes I can talk silly without making actual jokes… Oh! You know what you said recently that’s like that?”
“I do not.”
“When we were looking for a way to open the door, and you were giving me the technical explanation, and I said ‘Just say “We can’t open it without codes”’ and then you said ‘We can’t open it without codes’.”
Code swirled. “I noted you found my reiteration of your words amusing, but I did not know why.”
“I guess it could have been taken as sarcastic? And I like sarcasm. If you’d just said ‘okay’ it wouldn’t have been funny.”
“I see.”
“I’d ask about your opinion on the human experience, ’cause I haven’t yet, but I…” she yawned and stood, heading back to the bed. “I really need to sleep.”
“Good night, Harumi.”
“Night, SAM.”
“Welcome back, Harumi.” His voice was almost precisely the same as when he spoke to anyone else, dispassionately courteous. SAM wasn’t an expressive AI, had no idea how to even fake feelings. Dad had built him, after all. But it seemed to her that his voice was just a tiny bit warmer when greeting her, and she certainly felt warmer when greeted by her… friend. He didn’t need to greet her for coming to visit his physical location, really. He was connected to her brain, there was nothing technically different about being physically near him. But it was nice.
“Hi! I came to drop off Dr. Aridani’s equations.” She waved the OSD at him.
“I am ready,” SAM answered.
“Transferring them now. Have fun.” She popped the OSD into the appropriate slot and turned to sit – he might get through them almost instantaneously, or he might need a while – if it was a long while, surely he’d let her know and she’d go grab a snack or something.
A burst of static erupted from the speakers, and SAM’s holo projection began to flicker alarmingly. “What the- SAM?”
“Malicious code detected. Please stand by.” SAM’s voice was even more robotic, less inflected than usual, and nearly buried under hissing static. An alarm was going off, incongruously melodious and yet terrifying.
“SAM?” She didn’t want to distract him, but this was worrying her… The tablet screens were blank, nothing to help her. She could feel something wrong in the back of her head, not focused around her implant but a general weird tingly feeling, suddenly turning numb. She was so confused, so afraid for him, and it was suddenly hard to think properly, but she couldn’t distract him…
“Attempting to countermand malicious code. Please stand by.”
Her heart was pounding, she was covered in cold sweat, every second seemed like an eternity. “Is there anything I can do?” She saw flickers in the air, an illusory figure manipulating the blank tablets. Her optical implants were… projecting images? “Is that another malfunction, or… SAM? You trying to show me something?”
SAM didn’t answer, undoubtedly fighting the virus with all of his resources, none left to vocalize. She flung herself at the first console, using her omnitool to reboot the server it was connected to – and the second, and the third – the alarm braying in her ears, the numbness in the back of her head heavy and ominous.
It was done. “SAM, talk to me!” She sounded desperate, breathing fast and frightened. Fight it, SAM!
The static was suddenly gone. “Hello, Pathfinder. Please initialize the console to restore normal operations.”
Oh thank god. And her head was suddenly normal, too, the strange feelings gone as if they’d never been. “SAM, what happened?”
“The equations contained a Trojan horse program. Specifically targeted to sever our connection and render me helpless. Reconnecting would be impossible.”
Impossible, because according to Lexi, she would be dead. And maybe SAM too. Or maybe a more mundane explanation, like even if she survived, the QEC in the implant would be broken? No, if she couldn’t be disconnected from SAM without killing her, she’d be dead. She felt a cold shiver go down her back. She’d felt strange, wrong, stupid with even that partial interference in her head. “How do you feel? Are you okay? Did it hurt?”
“I cannot feel pain. However, I would avoid repeating the experience, which is the purpose of pain in organic life.”
She felt furious – and sick. Someone had tried to hurt her friend – hurt them both. She was going to find out why, and then hurt them back. No one did that to SAM.
Funny, she hadn’t felt nearly this protective of him before he’d been attacked, but now all caution had been thrown to the wind. Guess that old human pack-instinct was kicking in.
Instinct or not, she welcomed it. Her hands balled into fists. “Unlock the door, SAM. We’re getting some answers.”
“Harumi, can I help you?”
She swallowed hard, keeping her head high, her lips pressed firmly together, jaw clenched, blinking rapidly as she marched hastily through the Nexus. She was still unable to stop the heat from flushing all over her face, all over her body. She couldn’t talk just now, not without losing control of everything, and if SAM could read her thoughts, she couldn’t form a coherent one other than ‘get to the bathroom ASAP’. In boot camp she’d used it frequently, as well as other escapes. Seemed like a precision strike still warranted its use. She’d always been a terrible soldier, anyway.
“Harumi, your stress levels are extremely high.”
Change of plan. The bathroom was too public. She wanted to talk it out, with the person she trusted most. Normally that might have been her brother, but he was in a coma and she knew a guy who was very good at listening.
She piled onto the tram with a few technicians, sitting as far away from everyone else as she could manage, hoping they wouldn’t recognize her and come talk to her. When it stopped at the Hyperion’s habitation quarters, she hopped out and jogged through the atrium until she burst through the door she so desperately wanted to reach.
“Welcome back, Harumi. Are you all right?”
“Yeah.” She sighed, and that released a whole wave of tension, a tear spilling out already. “No. I need a minute to cry first.”
“Your stress levels are higher than your last combat encounter.”
She snorted a laugh through crumpled face and flowing tears. “Wouldn’t think Addison was a combat encounter.”
“It is common for human physiology to react to negative social situations with a similar ‘fight or flight’ instinct.”
“Negative social situations. Right.” Oh god, what a negative social situation. So that was what shame and injured pride was called.
When she was done, she wiped her eyes on her sleeves, sniffled mightily, and sat back against SAM’s console with a sigh. “Ugh.”
“How do you feel? Your heart-rate has stabilized, though your neurological activity and cortisol levels remain elevated.”
“Yeah, I’m feeling a little better.” She sighed yet again. “I get it, you know? She’s been super stressed out for over a year, everything is going shit, the experienced, competent human Pathfinder died and she’s stuck with a complete noob who goes and cries when someone yells at her, but on the other hand, I just wanted to ask a question.”
“Director Addison was wrong to speak so harshly. Your responsibilities are great enough without adding emotional distress. Her responsibilities are also many, but aiding you would only improve the situation for you both.”
“A really simple question, I just wanted to see if Dr. Lito could come back out of stasis. She could have just said ‘talk to Brecka’. And she didn’t have to say it like that.” Like a bitch, she thought, but that was uncharitable. More like what she actually wanted to say to Harumi was something like ‘if you mess up anything, we will all die and I will personally hate you forever, if I don’t already, you stupid little girl’. Which was actually how she said almost everything to Harumi. No pressure or anything. Stupid little girl. And if I complain that it’s not fair, that makes me even more of a stupid little girl who can’t be trusted to do anything. She felt more of a cry coming back on. Drill sergeants could make it sound personal, but they didn’t actually mean it personally. Not like Addison did. “Ugh, what’s wrong with me?”
“Harumi, your heart-rate is increasing rapidly. Please try to remain calm. There is nothing ‘wrong’ with you. You are well within acceptable parameters for human mental and physical norms.”
“Yeah, well, I bet she is too. Just stressed out.”
“But she is actively encouraging you to fail, which is against her best interest. It ought to make her more stressed. I do not understand.”
“Well, not everyone has perfect control like you do, SAM.” She grimaced. “I wish I did. I’m such a pathetic, useless crybaby-”
“Harumi.” She glanced towards the hologram curiously. SAM almost never interrupted unless it was an emergency. Either it was an emergency, or he’d developed something resembling a human mannerism. “You have been Pathfinder for 543 hours and 49 minutes. In that time your major accomplishments include taking command of the Tempest and her diverse crew, negotiating environmental extremes on Eos and Havarl, experiencing combat 87 times, successfully initiating diplomatic proceedings with the angara, activating two Remnant Vaults, and establishing a working outpost. This is in spite of the fact that you were not prepared to become Pathfinder and the connection was disruptive. The connection’s efficiency remains well below peak capacity even now, though it has improved. It is impossible to say with absolute certainty, but few others could have accomplished these achievements.”
“When you put it that way…” She managed a little smile. “Getting yelled at doesn’t seem so important. I’ll try not to repeat it, of course.” The purpose of pain in organic life, huh? “Gotta keep doing what I’m good at, which is the thing I’m here for, exploring Heleus.”
“I concur.”
“Although I didn’t accomplish all those things alone. Without the team, and especially without you, it would be impossible. I mean, just as one example, you got us out of that kett ambush like nobody’s business.”
“I was created to make this task possible. Thank you.”
“Hey, SAM, thanks for the pep talk. I didn’t know you had it in you.”
“It is good you are recovered. I was about to use humour. It has appeared to distract you in the past.”
“Oh yeah? I want to hear it anyway.”
“What sort of vehicles do asari drive?”
“Mmm, what?”
“Justicars.”
She giggle-snorted. “I approve. But yeah, last resort.” She stood and stretched. “I should get back to it. Duty calls and all that.”
Just before she reached the door, she turned to look at the hologram. “This is all confidential, right, SAM? It would be bad for… morale, and stuff, if anyone knew I was complaining about Addison. If anyone knew I cried about it.” Although a lot of people already bitched, she wouldn’t be the first. But she of all people couldn’t show strain or conflict.
“Of course, Harumi.”
“Hey, SAM, I was wondering,” she said one evening, back in her cabin, “what do you think about art?”
“Your father ensured that I studied art from all periods of human history; I have also investigated art from asari and turian culture.”
“Yeah, but what do you think?”
“I am not sure I understand the question.”
“Is it weird that organics spend so many resources on such useless endeavours?”
“Art is not useless,” SAM chided her. “It depends, of course, on the definition of art, and the purpose of the artwork. Art may be characterized in terms of mimesis, narrative, expression, communication of emotion, or other qualities. Generally some creative force or ideal must be present for organics to consider something as art. It is a unique feature of sapient organic life, a sign of their identity, their philosophies on the universe. Therefore, it is not useless.”
She blinked for a bit. “Sounds like you’ve thought a lot about it.”
“I occasionally consider topics outside of our immediate necessities, and art is an endlessly fascinating subject.”
“I feel this rabbit hole might be deeper than I’m capable of going right now,” she said, giggling a little self-consciously. “I don’t really think about art too much beyond ‘is it pretty’ and ‘is it thought-provoking’, which I guess is a little bit of what you were talking about?”
“Yes. It is not a failing on your part. Your preferences are part of your personality, art included.”
“Oh, good. But you sound interested in it, so if you ever want to talk about it, I’m happy to listen.”
“Thank you. Actually, perhaps you might be interested in some of the visual or aural art I have attempted.”
“You did art? Of course you did art.”
“Your father encouraged me to put my studies into action, if only briefly.”
“I wanna see.”
“Certainly.” A series of geometric images filled her screen, progressively becoming more complex and using – even to her ignorant eye – a more sophisticated control of colour. “These are a sample of my earliest works.”
“That’s pretty cool,” Harumi said. “How did you come up with them?”
“At first I did not know what to do; many programs already exist solely for the purpose of generating images and I did not know how to make new, original, meaningful images. Nor do I have an organic being’s aesthetic sense, which is necessary to judge potential emotional responses. However, Alec reminded me that intention is the most important part of the creative process, that every decision made in creation must have a reason behind it, no matter how trivial the decision or the reason.”
“So what did you intend with these pictures?”
“I decided to explore static, two-dimensional visual representations of time.”
“Oh, is that what it is?” She squinted. “I might need an art degree to understand it. But I will admit it’s freakin’ cool. I like looking at it.”
“Thank you. In the process, I discovered I have a mild preference for yellow circles. I do not know why.”
She giggled. “Interesting. I’ll remember that.”
“For some of these I borrowed colours from Salvador Dali’s The Persistence of Memory, as a thematic reference.”
“Neat. What else have you done?”
More images flickered across her screen, an oil painting of a winter landscape, a series of Arabic-looking geometric patterns, a series of disturbingly altered photographs of the Grand Canyon. “I feel that my understanding of aesthetics has improved since the last time I attempted to create visual art. I would like to make some more.”
“Traveling with the hyper, wildly-emotional girl’s helped you feel more organic responses to visual stimuli?” she teased.
“Yes,” SAM said simply. “You react particularly strongly to wilderness landscapes and Remnant technology. A moment.” A few seconds later, a new image popped up on her screen, of a desert at night – but the desert was defined by teal threads, just like the Remnant structures.
“Oooh, pretty,” was her immediate response. “You just made that? Just like that?”
“Yes.”
“I think a lot of artists would be jealous of your speed and accuracy. Just imagine it and it appears,” Harumi said. “Well, I really like that! I’m going to set that as my new desktop wallpaper. Thanks, SAM!” She smiled broadly. A personalized image made for her by SAM! That was just the coolest thing.
“You are welcome.”
She stretched. “I’d ask about the… what did you call it? Aural art?”
“You might call it music, or soundscapes.”
“Music, then. But I’m getting sleepy and this philosophy’s bending my brain.”
“That is all right. Please rest. We can discuss these topics at greater length later.”
“Sounds nice. Good night, SAM.”
“Good night, Harumi.”
She found out later he liked Bach and Stravinsky. What old-fashioned music to listen to.
She walked into the little shed, glanced around. “Reyes should be here.”
“I detect no sign of Mr. Vidal, Pathfinder. Shall we proceed without him?”
He had said he’d be there, and she found her disappointment at his absence greater than she had expected. “That’s not-”
The inner door slid open and a bunch of armoured angara rushed out. Roekaar. “Don’t move!” the leader hissed.
“Were we too loud?” Harumi joked.
“Shut up,” the Roekaar said, and gestured with his gun that she and her squad go before him into the cave beyond the door.
They were met by a blue-green angara. “I don’t need to tell you what happens next,” she said, looking them up and down.
Then why offer words at all? Harumi thought. “You’re going to try to kill me and my friends. I’ve got a few questions first.”
“No. You’ll bleed. Just like the others.”
Well, that got shut down. Not that she’d expected more. Things escalated, the angara drew one of those ceremonial knives, Harumi tried futilely to convince her that people didn’t have to die over this.
“I’m not Sloane,” Harumi said.
“You are all the same,” the angara cried, and lunged.
A gunshot rang out, and the knife flipped away from her hand. The angara clutched her hand with a cry of pain, and the Roekaar around them all lunged forward, guns raised.
“Not so fast!” came a familiar baritone cry, and running footsteps down the inner stairs.
“You’re late!” Harumi yelled, grabbing her gun from a startled Roekaar and diving for cover, Jaal and Vetra behind her.
“Don’t just stand there!” yelled the angara woman. “Kill them!”
She found herself behind a crate with a grinning Reyes clutching a modified kett rifle. “I’ve got a good reason. You’ll see in three… two… one…”
Half the cave exploded. Okay, how the hell had he set that up? “Still mad?” he asked sweetly, grinning up at her.
She couldn’t help a skeptical grin back, heart thumping with something a little more than battle adrenaline, and then the shooting began in earnest.
With the cave empty of hostiles, they began to head back to the outside, Jaal and Vetra first to clear for ambushers. “You did good, Ryder. Don’t worry,” Reyes said to her, soothingly, “I’ll let all the important people know who to thank.”
She snorted, but couldn’t help a smile. “We make a good team.” Could she coax him onto the Tempest, like Peebee and Drak?
He made as if to pass her in the narrow corridor, stopping just beside her – if she wasn’t wearing armour, she’d probably feel the heat of his body. “Careful, I’ll start thinking you like me.”
Damn, that smooth Spanish accent was sliding over her skin even under the armour, increasing her heart rate. And his haircut might have been horrendous but he had beautiful eyes, beautiful lips. She opened her mouth, to tell him, hey, maybe she did like him, and was that so bad?
“Harumi,” SAM said in her head suddenly. She nearly jumped, managed to settle for a blink. “I do not believe this is a wise course of action.”
Oh, they were going to have words later. In the meantime, she had to say something. “See you back at Tartarus?”
“Don’t be a stranger, Pathfinder,” and he left with another wink.
“Okay SAM, so what was that all about?” she demanded, heading away from her team for a moment of privacy.
“I apologize for speaking out of turn. Mr. Vidal may be trustworthy regarding the Resistance. However, beyond that, I believe your actions are placing your emotions in danger.”
She blinked. “You think he’s a playboy and he’s going to break my heart.”
“Yes.”
She grinned. “I’d almost think you were jealous, SAM.” She… found she liked the idea, and not just because it might be a sign of his development to show such a complex emotion.
“Harumi.” A mild reproof to her joking around. “I cannot be jealous. I know it is not appropriate for me to attempt to influence your actions beyond your duties as Pathfinder. I also know you are strongly physically attracted to him. But I do not want you to get hurt in this way.”
So it was okay to risk her life, to court failure both physical and emotional in a thousand other different ways, but not okay to risk heartbreak? So obvious that her dad had programmed him. “SAM…”
“I am still learning about emotional attachments. What I have studied suggests that romantic disappointment can cause great psychological damage.”
She was quiet a minute. “Romantic fulfillment can lead to great happiness, too.”
“Do you believe you will find that with Mr. Vidal?”
“I don’t know,” she said. “No one ever knows. Sometimes the most normal-seeming guys end up being jerks. And sometimes someone who seems like an asshole ends up caring about the things that are truly important. Not that I would know, so far they’ve all been assholes.”
“I should not have said anything. I acted on incomplete information.”
“You can do that?” she teased. “Hey – I forgive you for being worried about me. And maybe I should be more cautious around him. Shouldn’t just flirt recklessly because he’s sexy and seems interested.” Seemed interested? He’d practically kissed her in that corridor.
“Please disregard my advice. Act as you see fit.”
“No, no, it’s good advice. Most friends would offer that advice. If Cora finds out, you can bet she’ll be telling me the exact same things.” She descended into thought. Reyes was incredibly interesting, and was definitely interested in her, even if casually. But she was… waiting, wasn’t she? There was someone else she wanted to see where things went, even if it took a long time. Reyes would be quick and easy, their potential flame might burn hot and fast, but was it worth it?
Not this time, she decided. “Yeah, don’t worry about Reyes, SAM. And thanks for reminding me what’s really important.”
“I do not understand, but you are welcome.”
She touched herself that night, and SAM said nothing, and it wasn’t completely awkward for her the next day. Progress?
“SAM,” Knight spat. “Such a human name.”
“I’ve been looking you up,” Harumi said. “I understand why you’re doing what you’re doing. But I can’t let you follow through.”
“Of course not,” Knight said. “It controls you now.”
Harumi shook her head slowly. “No, he really doesn’t. Look, I’m not going to tell you that this time things will be different. You won’t believe me. But besides the fact that yes, Nexus Control really does need those computers, things are already different. SAM would never hurt me. I trust him.”
“You sound like you’re in love. And to think I let you near my son…”
“Your son is fine,” Harumi said gently, trying not to let a blush rise to her face. Wondering how SAM would interpret the internal involuntary reactions, and if they’d have an awkward conversation later. “We came up with a fix for his implants. He doesn’t have to use it, if you don’t trust it, but if he does, he will recover.”
Knight stopped and stared wide-eyed. “Wait… you… helped Alain?”
“Honestly, it was SAM’s idea. I don’t know much about implants, that was Mom’s expertise. But it will work.”
Knight’s shoulders sagged. “Here. Take it – the last device. If what you say is true…”
“Nexus security will arrest you,” Harumi said. “But if you’d like… SAM and I can come visit you? You can get to know us a little better, as separate people. Would you like that?”
“Why would you do that for me?” Knight asked. “It would seem I’ve only ever been your enemy.”
“It’s true when you first tried to pull the plug on our connection, I was angry – furious, even. You tried to hurt my best friend, not to mention me, even if that wasn’t your intention to hurt me, though if you’d succeeded… I’d have died. Sure, at the time I wanted to hurt you back. But getting to know you… I don’t think you’re a bad person. You just didn’t know, and you were trying to protect the people close to you. Like I try to protect the people close to me. So I want you to know. Then maybe we can work together in the future.”
“All right,” Knight said quietly, head bowed. “As… as long as I can see my son again.”
“I think we can manage that,” Harumi said, smiling. “I’ll talk with Kandros, see if we can rig up communication to your place on Kadara.” She saw the security officers approaching. “So many things have gone wrong since we came to Andromeda… but SAM’s not one of them.” She nodded in farewell. “I’ll talk to you later.”
She watched shuttle traffic in and out of the Nexus for a while after Knight had been taken off to prison. “SAM, you ever considered getting your own body?”
“I have but it has never been a primary concern. Why?”
“You help with my body, you helped fix Alain’s implants… You understand humans pretty well, shouldn’t you get a body of your own to experience the universe first-hand with?”
“The experiences I receive through you are first-hand experiences. An artificial body would not grant the same quality of stimuli. Also, to give me my own body was not your father’s original intention.”
“Well, I didn’t say you had to stop babysitting me to get your own body… Might have to build a new wing onto SAM Node to let you control two bodies at once, but it’s do-able, right? Anyway, my father’s not here. At some point we have to make our own decisions. Our own future.” Her voice trailed off a bit.
“Did you feel Alec was controlling your future?”
“Not controlling, exactly, but he certainly overshadowed it. Still does, really. And probably will for a while. Haruto felt the same, maybe even more so. I don’t know what you felt about his influence, but we don’t have to be bound by it as much anymore.”
“I see. I will consider what you have said, so far as it does not contradict Initiative protocols.”
“Oh, of course. Don’t want to break rules without extremely good reason.”
“Alec intended that I seek my own future eventually, but he did not get the chance to offer it to me. Thank you.”
“Uh… you’re welcome.”