Okay, NOW Esgalwen’s Story is done. Haha! Now it’s 72,866 words long. : P This part is essentially the same as it was before, with a few words added here and there. For the new stuff, click back to Chapter 14 and read the first scene. : D
I really want to get Netflix and watch those TV shows I’ve been wanting to watch. : P
Chapter 15
She came to herself in a small tent, still clutching Michael’s body. It was cold and heavy, but she held it closer as she looked around.
Lusiel was there, face smudged with blood and dirt and clothes torn, looking like he wasn’t sure whether it was safe to really let his smile out or not, though he clearly wanted to. “Are you all right?”
She let out a deep breath. “Yes. Thank you. How is everyone, Lusiel?”
“They’re pretty shaken up,” Kaisten chirped from over by the door to the tent. “At least, the soldiers are. Ma’am. Er. Illinia.”
“I understand,” she said, and laid Michael’s body gently on the cot beside her. “I guess it would be a shock to learn that the tactician responsible for many of our victories was actually someone you thought of as an enemy.” She looked at Kaisten. “You’re not shaken up?”
He rustled his wings a bit uneasily, but shrugged. “I reported to both of you a lot. I guess if you trusted him, it’s good enough for me.”
“And you’re so obviously upset by his death,” Eliara said, frowning. Her helmet, tucked under her arm, was missing one of its wings. “He must have had some good in him. I’m not going to call a witch-hunt on anyone.”
Kip poked his head in through the tent door. “Yes, she’s awake.” He withdrew and held the door open for Torrigan, Mira, and Kellan.
Mira rushed to Illinia’s side. “You! You scared us all so much again!” As Illinia leaned away from her wrath, her face changed abruptly. “Oh my gosh, you got to meet Illora twice? You are one crazy-lucky lady! What was it like? You spent a lot of time talking to her this time, didn’t you? What did you talk about?”
“She told me why she chose me,” Illinia said, and explained as best she could why it had been her to be chosen as the hero of the elves, and not some more deserving person.
“Sounds dumb,” Kellan grumbled afterwards. “Kinda risky and circumstantial.”
“Gods and goddesses don’t usually make sense by mortal perspectives,” Torrigan said calmly. “I am very glad to see you alive, Illinia. I will even say I respect Michael for what he did for you. You were right. And I am glad of it.” He shifted and looked down at the floor. “And I am ashamed of… of my actions this last week.”
Illinia looked down at Michael. “Illora wouldn’t let me bring him back. But he came and told me he’s all right with that. I did want him to have a happy ending, but he doesn’t agree. I told him to go to Valinor, and he said he would, so maybe I’ll see him again someday. I hope the Valar accept him. I hope Eru accepts him.”
“I’m glad,” said Torrigan, nodding. “I think he will. If someone can give their life for a friend, a friend who used to be an enemy, I can’t think of a god in the good pantheons who would turn him away.”
“There you are, a professional opinion at work,” Mira said, and pointed dramatically at Torrigan, who smiled a little.
Illinia looked squarely at Torrigan, much as her introversion told her to look anywhere else but his face. “You must forgive yourself too, Torrigan.”
“What are you going to do now?” Lusiel asked before the silence could get too tense.
“One of the things she granted me was a vision of where my husband is, or at least where he was recently. I want to ask Tharash if he will please take me there so I can continue my search…”
“He’s an odd one,” Kip put in. “And that’s coming from me.”
Illinia smiled. “I can agree with you. But I like him.”
“You like odd sorts,” Kellan said. “So I can’t figure out why you don’t like me!”
“I never said I didn’t like you,” Illinia protested. “I just… don’t understand you, and you scare me!”
He laughed.
Jaye and Siasara also entered the tent, which was beginning to feel rather crowded.
“I have the army begun the burial work, Lu,” Jaye reported, saluting.
“And I’ve got some of them working on preparing the celebratory stuff,” Siasara said, slipping behind Lusiel’s folding chair and hugging him from behind. “Hi, Illinia! I’m so glad you’re still alive.”
“Me too,” Illinia said, fighting tears yet again. “And all thanks to Michael.”
“Yes, I’m sorry about him. We’ll honour him.”
“Will the others, though?” Eliara said. “Like I said, I have nothing against him, even if he wasn’t what we thought he was. I take it you guys knew. But even if I don’t have anything, a lot of the army does. If we bury him with honours, in two days his grave will be vandalized.”
“I don’t suppose you’d consider taking his ashes with you, perhaps?” Kip asked. “It’s a perfectly respectful form of interment, am I right, Paladin?” Torrigan nodded.
“I could do that, yes,” Illinia said, and brightened. If she did that, and if he felt anything near her the way she felt near her husband, then he would rest easy through all the strange lands she carried him through. Even if he had no land to call home, she could be his home. The thought pleased her.
“Kaisten, could you please go see if Flairé and Tharash are still around?” Siasara asked. “I don’t know how long Tharash is going to stick around, and you don’t want to miss your ride.”
“Miss what ride?” Tharash grumbled, appearing in their midst. “Am I going to be used for cheap taxi service again?”
Valiensin followed the mage in a more conventional fashion – by walking – and swatted at his hat. “Oh, come on. We respect your vast over-poweredness. Think of it more like a cheap taxi service… in a gold-plated carriage pulled by Akhal-Teke horses. With champagne and cakes. Except you don’t resemble any of that, Mr. Scruffypants, you just take us to otherwise impossibly-inaccessible regions.” He turned to Illinia. “I gather you’ve been busy since we last met. I’m proud of you, lass, I really am. I hope this stubborn brat’s help has been useful.”
“Not to mention the ineffectual hacking of this overgrown swordie,” Tharash put in.
Illinia smiled. “Thank you so, so much, everyone. I am forever in your debt.” She made to rise, but Tharash held up a hand.
“You know where you’re going?”
“I know what it looks like. I don’t know where it is or what it’s called.”
“That’s all right. I’m sure Flairé will be able to pull it out of your head, despite his lack of mind-magery, and then it will be no trouble to make a temporary rift to wherever it is. I was going to say, if you know where you’re going, then I will be willing to take you after whatever celebrations there are this evening.”
“You know you wanna stay!” Siasara said, grinning.
“We’ll have proper food,” Kip said with satisfaction. “Some of it cooked by me. Speaking of which, I should go get started.”
“I’ll come help,” Valiensin said. “The rest of you, relax.” The two left.
Jaye glanced at Lusiel and Siasara. “I think we should go check on the troops and make sure everything is going smoothly. Also to dispel any ugly rumours that might already be emerging.”
“That sounds like an excellent plan,” Lusiel said brightly, jumping up. His twin swords swayed at his waist as he led his wife and best friend from the tent. Eliara and Kaisten followed, with a nod to Illinia.
Tharash glanced at Torrigan, Mira, and Kellan, nodded once, and disappeared.
It was just the four of them, together again.
“I will miss you three,” Illinia said.
“We will miss you, too,” Mira said. “I still haven’t thanked you enough for all your help! I may not be an elf, but I learned as much from you as I did from my adoptive parents, and I… you know, I’m okay with not being an elf. I’m me, and you showed me that.”
“If you ever come back to this world, you will be welcome wherever we are,” Torrigan said. “I don’t know if we’re planning to stick together after this, and in fact we might not, but we’ll each be glad to see you if you ever come around.”
She smiled. “Thanks very much. That means a lot. I might not come back in your lifetimes, though.”
“I figured as much,” Kellan muttered. “Hey, your dead body there… what are you planning to do with it?”
She looked down at Michael’s body, slim and cold and unmoving, still spattered with his blood. “I don’t know. I suppose we should get him ready for cremation.”
Together they picked up the body and brought it outside again, taking it to where other people were preparing bodies for burial. They got a few side-long looks, but Illinia ignored them and concentrated on cleaning away as much of the blood as she could. When she was done, she and her companions built a small pyre of firewood and laid him on it.
She took a moment to brush his white hair away from his brow. He still looked like he was frowning a little, concentrating on something mildly difficult, even in death. She would miss him, and his ever-changing face, and his bitter sarcasm… She choked back fresh tears.
She kissed his forehead, and stood back.
Kellan clearly wanted to use some kind of gizmo to light the pyre, but Torrigan gestured to Mira, who cast a small fire spell. The dry wood caught easily.
Illinia could not watch the flames devour her friend, but she sat beside the burning pyre until there was nothing left. The others stood silently behind her, and she felt their silent comfort – even from Kellan. She hugged herself and felt the scars on her arms.
And it was Kellan who offered her a small glass vial, within which she poured a lot of the ashes that lay there. The rest she cast in the air to let the wind blow where it would.
The sun was setting by that time, and Kaisten came in search of them to bring them to the feast that was prepared. It took Illinia a little while to adjust to the change in tone, but the others there were merry, and she was soon laughing along with them. She had helped save the world, after all. Perhaps it was not her world, but it was saved nonetheless.
And then Lusiel asked her to sing.
With wide eyes, she protested. There were too many people, and they would all be watching her. But the others insisted, and soon everyone was insisting, although only a few of them had heard her sing anything in the long grim days that had gone before.
She wasn’t even sure if she could sing properly anymore, or remember the words.
But there was a hush as she stood in her place at the table, and looking up at the stars, she remembered when her husband came to visit her at her little house in the woods, and she sang for him.
She sang now, an old love song of undying fidelity across unknowable distance, and although the others did not know Sindarin, she knew it touched them. She smiled as she sang: despite all the pain she had been through, despite the heartbreak and the injury and the fear, she would never give up until at last she was held in his arms again, and the certainty of that fact, the certainty of his love for her as well, made her strong.
The tables erupted in cheers and whistles when she was done, and she quickly sank back into her chair, her face as scarlet as her dress. Lusiel patted her on the back, Mira looked filled with joyful wonder, Valiensin was smiling easily as he applauded, and even Kellan and Tharash looked appreciative.
All too soon it was over, and it was time for her to go. She didn’t want to, now that it came down to it. She waved to the general assembly as she left them, and some of them waved back, but they didn’t seem to know she was going. It was for the best. But her friends she wouldn’t get rid of that easily.
“Tell the soldiers I’m proud of them,” she said to Lusiel. “It was an honour to fight beside them, to lead them these months.”
He bowed. “It has been an even greater honour to have you with us, Illinia. I hope you won’t be a stranger if you ever return.” He straightened with a twinkle in his eyes.
She smiled involuntarily. “I am thinking I may have to return at some point. And of course it was wonderful to meet you, and Siasara, and Jaye, and Stella. You have all been so very kind to me! I wish you well.” The others nodded. Jaye bowed, but Siasara stepped forward and hugged Illinia, and then of course Lusiel had to as well, and so did Stella.
“Take care of yourself, okay?” was Siasara’s advice. “I know you’re going to go around trusting pretty much any old person you meet, but make sure they’re not particularly heavily armed while you’re getting to know them.”
Illinia giggled. “Okay. Thank you.”
Kip and Eliara and Kaisten were next in line. Kaisten looked shy again, and Illinia didn’t know what to say, so an awkward, feathery hug ensued. Eliara didn’t mince her words, though.
“Linny, you better tell that husband of yours to watch your back. I know you’ll be watching his, but I want him to know that you have friends who want him to take as good care of you as you do of him. Got it?”
“Um, yes, I think so?” Illinia laughed. “Don’t worry. He is an even better archer than I am. He will keep me safe.”
Kip patted her shoulder. “Everyone wants you to be safe, even your enemies. That’s part of your problem. You’re so blessedly exceptional.”
She sniffed. “That’s very kind of you to say.”
“Now, now, don’t cry. You’ve made it this far.”
But the tears had started and wouldn’t stop. “I’m sorry. I’m just going to keep crying now until I leave. This always happens.”
Mira tackled her. “Awww, c’mere, Illinia! It’ll be all right. You’ll see. Kellan will settle down in a mansion somewhere, and I’ll go marry David and whoop monster butt with my gryphon partner, and Torrigan will become a famous general and the bane of wickedness everywhere, and we’ll all live happily ever after. So don’t you worry about this parting.”
“I-it’s just because partings are sad on principle,” Illinia sniffed, hugging Mira back. “I’m sure you will all have happy lives. I will, too.”
“That’s all we can ask for. It was great to travel with you.”
“Yeah, you’re not half-bad,” Kellan said appraisingly. “Besides, you know, that one time, but it turned out all right in the end, I guess.” He coughed and rubbed his nose with his sleeve, doffing his broad-brimmed hat. His bald head shone in the setting sunlight. “Sorry, allergies.”
“You’re a terrible liar,” Mira said.
Torrigan hugged Illinia awkwardly at first, and then tightly. “I have nothing to say that hasn’t already been said. May the light of Pelor, and whatever god you follow, go with you all your days.”
“Thank you, Torrigan. …I always looked up to you, you know. You were a great leader for our little group.”
“Er, thank you. I… I’m glad to hear that!” He grinned, suddenly, and it turned his face surprisingly boyish, even with the scars. “Even with…”
“Even with that.” His arms were tighter than ever.
“You’ve always been and always will be my guide,” he whispered, and let go. The grin returned to his face. “I’ll be the first Paladin of Illinia.” Illinia giggled through sniffles.
Then Mira needed another hug, and now she was crying a little, too.
Finally Illinia turned to Tharash and Valiensin.
“You done yet?” Tharash asked, sounding bored.
“Yes, I am ready,” she said, her tears beginning to dry as she had said they would. She looked at Valiensin.
“I’m coming with you at least to the next world, lass, so you won’t be rid of me just yet. You’ve come so far since I met you! I’m proud of you.”
“Thanks.” She bowed her head.
“Yeah, you weren’t a terrible student,” Tharash put in. “Actually, I’m lying. I was pretty impressed by the mental and psychological progress you’ve made since I found you. And summoning a goddess is no mean feat. Now if you were only interested in chaos magic…”
Valiensin laughed. “Not going to happen, Tharash. Are we ready to go yet, or what?”
“Where are we going?” Tharash asked. Illinia described what she had seen as best she could, fidgeting with her locket, and Valiensin made a picture of it. It looked like what she had seen, and she nodded. Tharash looked closely at it, and nodded. He knew what world it was, she guessed, or could tell what world it was.
“Good-bye!” she cried to all her friends, and waved.
Behind her, Tharash waved his hand, and a black split appeared in the air. Valiensin stepped through it first, completely unafraid, after his own wave of farewell to the others. Illinia hesitated for the barest second. It didn’t look like the other rift she had gone through from Middle-Earth to Elberron. But Valiensin had gone through, so it must be all right.
She stepped through, and found herself on the edge of a jade green forest. Behind her, she could hear water trickling. Before her, she could see nothing but grey wasteland, rocky and desolate. Tharash and Valiensin were nowhere in sight.
“Esgalwen?”