Now I’m wishing I’d put more scenes like this in the original story. But then it would have been EVEN LONGER! So this is fine.

Don’t you love Serra? XD

 

Look at Me

Kent and Ceniro had gone ahead to Castle Araphen – which was also a proper castle, by the looks of it – and the rest of us were wandering the city streets, guided by Sain. Almost none of us had been here before, and it was quite different from Bulgar, certainly. Bigger, firstly – the city was bigger, the houses were at least twice as tall, set closer together, and many of them were made of stone. The style was different, too, without any trace of familiar Sacaean elements anywhere. And it, unfortunately, smelled a lot worse than I’d been expecting. The streets might have been paved with stones, unlike Bulgar, but I just had to watch my step even more.

But the people were colourful, many of them dressed in brighter colours than most Sacaeans would wear… my own bright teal deel was not really common among my people. Most of them wore reddish-brown colours, or sometimes earthy green. My father had given my deel to me a couple years ago, saying I was the gift of Mother Earth and Father Sky to Mother and him, and the blue and green blended in the colour of my clothing was symbolic of that. After that, I never wore anything else. Here, though, people wore whatever colours they liked, it looked like. Reds and blues and greens and black and white, everywhere I looked.

And there was so much to look at, that I almost missed the man coming at me with a knife until the crowds around us screamed and ran for cover, leaving me completely exposed – everyone else was behind me.

“You! Lyndis! Prepare yourself!” shouted the assassin, lunging towards me.

“Hey!” I panicked as I reached for my sword. He was too close, I wouldn’t be able to draw my sword in time, Sain and his horse were too close behind me for me to easily avoid…

Thunk! An arrow struck the assassin in the back and he pitched forward at my feet.

I saw the man who had shot the arrow and my eyes widened: he was a Sacaean. The fact that he was wearing the livery of Araphen did nothing to change the joy I felt at seeing one of my countrymen in this strange place. And he had saved my life, too!

Kent and Ceniro came riding hastily back to my side at that moment. “Lady Lyndis!” Kent cried. They must have seen what had happened. Ceniro slid clumsily off the horse and hurried to my side, and everyone was looking at me, checking to see if I’d been injured.

I was fine, surely it was easy to see. The Sacaean rider had seen to that so quickly. “I’m all right.” The rider was turning to leave – “Ah! Wait!” I hadn’t thanked him! And just to say hello to one of my people made me oddly happy. He stopped his horse and turned back. “Thank you for saving my life!”

He glanced at all the Lycians around me. “I thought a woman of Sacae was in need. Was I mistaken?”

Right. And with my mother’s blood in my veins, I had a trace of Lycian-ness about my face as well. “No, I’m from Sacae,” I assured him. “I’m the daughter of Hassar of the Lorca.”

He made little sign, but I could tell he was surprised. “There were survivors?”

“A few. Now I’m going to Lycia to meet my mother’s father.”

“Oh no!” Florina cried, pointing. “The castle… it’s on fire!” Indeed, black smoke was rising into the sky from inside the castle, and I could hear distant sounds that did not sound like city sounds – screaming and crashing.

“So it is,” Wil said wryly. “That’s probably an issue.”

“Listen, that man who attacked me, I think he was an assassin of Lord Lundgren,” I said quickly to the rider. “I bet the castle is on fire because Lundgren doesn’t want me to reach Caelin!”

“A good an explanation as any,” he said, still watching me cautiously. How could I convince him that we wanted to help, even if – especially if it was partly our fault?

“And if it’s not the case, helping out can’t hurt our standing with the marquess,” Kent said. “Are there any more enemies about in the city?”

“I’ll rally the guard,” said the rider. “They will help track down any hostiles. I am the captain of the marquess’s guard, but you may call me by my right name: Rath of the Kutolah.”

The Kutolah! I had met Silver Wolf Dayan with my father once or twice, but I didn’t remember anyone named Rath. Still, the Kutolah were friendly. “Well met, Rath of the Kutolah,” I said eagerly. “This is our tactician, Ceniro. You should probably coordinate with him.”

Of course, Ceniro froze up under scrutiny. “Um. Hello.”

Rath turned to head back up the hill towards the castle. “I’ll be back shortly. Make your way towards the castle, but head for the militia barracks. If enemies have attacked the castle, the front gate will be too dangerous for a group the size of yours to attack.”

“Thanks,” Ceniro said, and took over, issuing orders to everyone in our group.

He stayed close to me as we made our way forward, and I was rather glad of it. He needed protecting, being so weak but so vital, and I could provide it. I even almost protected him against Matthew, who joined us instead a few minutes later. The tactician was never so close that I couldn’t fight, but I could feel he was always behind me, could track the sound of his voice and know he had everything under control. I wouldn’t let anyone past to attack him.

We’d always been a pretty good team since we’d met, and we were getting better all the time. I couldn’t yet read his mind, but it felt sometimes like he could read mine, sending me against the enemies I knew I could fight, encouraging me, positioning me, or repositioning me when he felt I was vulnerable. And everything he said, to everyone, not just me, made it clear that he valued all our contributions, respected our abilities, and I at least appreciated how he often explained his orders so that I knew exactly what I was fighting for. And although he often had to shout to be heard, especially at a distance, he was never yelling at us. Sometimes his voice got a little anxious, and his orders came faster, but he was never impatient with us, just like my father with his warriors when he was in a difficult situation.

Ceniro didn’t leave his safe spot by my side until we had gotten into the castle and cleared the attackers. Only then, did he stay in the courtyard with the others while I went further in with Kent and Sain for the most unfortunate interview of my life.

 

It wasn’t until a couple days later that I started to suspect Ceniro stayed close to me for other reasons as well, and it was Serra’s fault. “Oh, Lady Lyn, you are a blessed woman indeed.”

“How do you mean?” I asked. I was, I suppose, since I was still alive, but that didn’t sound like what she was going to talk about. “Lord Lundgren is trying to kill me, Marquess Araphen was the worst person I’ve ever spoken to, and I don’t know when I’ll see Sacae again.” I wasn’t complaining! Really! I was interested in exploring Lycia. But already I was starting to feel homesick…

Serra tutted. “Dear Lady Lyn, you have a noble bearing, high-ranking connections, and an entourage of young men adoring your every move! The fact that your grand-uncle is a miserable rotten would-be usurper will pass – once we defeat him – but the rest will remain.”

I laughed. “An entourage of adoring men? I… don’t think…”

“It’s true,” Serra said cheerfully. “The knights-”

“Sain has a fiancée,” I pointed out. “He talks about her constantly, despite all the flirting he does with every female he meets.”

“Well, Sir Kent, then, he watches over you like a hen. Or perhaps a hound. A hound is more dashing. Where was I? Wil, Dorcas, Rath-”

“Dorcas is married, Rath just joined us, and Wil spends half his time trying to talk to Florina-”

“Rath stares with that deadly gaze of his! How do you not feel it?” Serra shivered, then perked up. “And we can’t forget Ceniro! Have you seen how he blushes at you? In fact, I think Erk is the only one too uncouth to adore you. He doesn’t even seem to adore me! He just spends all his time in his books, even while we walk!”

Well, yes, I had seen how Ceniro blushed a lot, but he was easily embarrassed, that was all. He blushed when talking to people other than me. “Still, Serra, that’s only three people out of all the men in camp. Is that really enough for an ‘adoring entourage’?”

“It has to be,” Serra said firmly. “You must have an adoring entourage, Lady Lyn.”

“Um, why?”

Serra stared in surprise and slight offense. “Lady Lyndis! You are the princess of Caelin in all but name! It’s only proper that men fall at your feet and beg to serve you! Why, I myself can hardly do my own work sometimes with all the admirers I have, and I’m only a sweet cleric of Saint Elimine!”

“That wouldn’t be practical in Sacae,” I said. In Sacae, men did their jobs, not go around romantically falling over women like in the fairy-tales my mother used to tell me. Yes, it would be nice, maybe a little bit, but that just wouldn’t work. How would the tribe stay safe and fed if everyone was so silly? And the women of Sacae wouldn’t stand for it either.

“Ah yes, I almost forgot, you were raised in Sacae.” Serra gasped suddenly, pink pigtails bouncing. “You have so much to learn! I must teach you! Yes, yes, let us start at once. You’ll need to know court manners once you meet your grandfather!”

I started edging away a little. “But he’s my grandfather. I’m told he’s not racist. Surely he would accept me even if I didn’t know court manners.”

“That may be true,” Serra said briskly, unconsciously following me, “but you should know them anyway. It will impress everyone else.”

“I’d – I think I’d like Florina to be here with me,” I said, fighting back nervous giggles. She was really serious about this, wasn’t she?

“Yes, that is a good idea, she will benefit from knowing this too,” Serra said. “But this is only a temporary thing, you understand. I can’t be seen with too many other pretty girls at the same time! Florina!! Come here, we have much to learn!”

Florina came over obediently, and we were both blown away by Serra’s barrage of information. Later in the tent we shared, we talked it over and tried to sort the useful information from the not-so-useful. “And all this stuff about who gets served first at dinner… knowing which spoons do what is helpful, I guess, but why am I supposed to know that?”

“I don’t know,” Florina said. “I’m more worried about all the things she told us about noble courting conventions. Surely none of the nobles there is going to be courting me.” She cast an awkward glance at me. “Maybe you, but I can’t imagine you’d bother with them.”

“You’re probably right about that,” I said. “And so I don’t see why I need to know that either. If there’s a nobleman who likes me but can’t accept that I don’t know the rituals, then he’s not worth my time.”

“And then there’s… all this…” Florina gestured helplessly at the make-up pots Serra had given us from her generous stash.

The cleric’s words were still echoing in my head. “Of course, I can’t use too much, just a little foundation and lip gloss and maybe some blush for colour. I’m too cute as it is! I can’t be leading the weak-minded into temptation, that would be cruel! But you can use as much as you like, to make yourself as beautiful as possible!” Her manic smile had suddenly turned ferocious. “But mind you don’t use too much! You must stay within the bounds of good taste! When we get to civilization, I will show you portraits that will explain in a glance how not to do it!”

Why do it at all? I wasn’t exactly looking for a man right now, and if he needed facepaint to think I was pretty, he wasn’t worth my time either. Mother hadn’t worn any make-up since she came to Sacae, and she was- had been just beautiful on her own.

Well, we’d learned a few useful things – how to address people of different ranks, how to curtsey to people of different ranks, how to get out of awkward conversations with people… Unfortunately, Serra was immune to the last one.

What interested me more, after Florina had fallen asleep, was considering what Serra had said about people in our group. Kent was only doing his job, I was sure. Rath was just watching out for a fellow Sacaean. But… could she be right about Ceniro?

 

I had my answer a couple days later, while we were helping Nils search for Ninian, and breaking down a castle gate in the process. Florina had lifted me up to the walls on Ceniro’s orders, along with Dorcas and Wil. There weren’t too many enemies up here, but those who were here were deadly – swordsmen and lancemen on one side, a half dozen of them, and the enemy leader, a shaman, on the other. I should have been afraid, but my will was like steel – I had to kill them.

Ceniro had said to take out the leader as soon as possible so I charged at him, trusting the others to watch my back. I ducked a blast of dark magic and it hit the wall to my right, exploding and shaking the entire wall. Stones were shaken loose, falling down into the courtyard and I was sprayed with stone chips, many of them cutting right through my clothes and into my skin.

I’d live against that, but I’d had to cover my face against the debris and that had given the shaman time to cast another spell, enveloping me in a dark mist, slowing my movements to sluggish, weak steps and seeping cold into my skin. The cold left intense pain in its wake, as if my flesh were freezing and cracking open. The Mani Katti burned bright in my hand against the dark and I swung it, desperately trying to clear it away from me so I could get close to him and kill him. But I wouldn’t make it, not against the pain and the slowing.

“You thought you would rescue the boy’s sister, did you?” taunted my opponent; I could barely hear him through ringing in my ears. “Were you not warned that anyone who gets close to the siblings is rewarded with death? Learn this lesson now and die in despair!”

I heard someone scream my name, and then light magic blasted the shaman, breaking his spell, and a screaming white feathery missile shot down from the sky, and Florina’s lance impaled him through the chest, knocking him from the wall.

My legs wouldn’t hold and I fell to my knees, clutching the Mani Katti like it was a lifeline, gasping in sweet, pain-free air. I was so weak, and my body was wracked with spasms, aftershocks of the debilitating spell.

Ceniro was beside me, one arm around my shoulders, the other in front of me so I could pull myself up. “Lyn! Lyn! Are you- Are you all right?” His voice was frantic, his hands shaking. Was he so afraid for me? The pain was upsetting and frightening, yes, and I’d treat shaman more cautiously from now on, but I knew things would work out, he was in command. I was just annoyed I couldn’t take out the shaman on my own. But I was still alive, wasn’t I? “Serra! Quick!”

“I-I’m all right,” I assured him, accepting his help to stand, and my heart went thump. His arm was still around my shoulders, and it turned out I was perfectly fine with it staying there for a bit… as long as I didn’t have to fight before Serra got to us.

Ceniro was looking down into the courtyard at the destruction wrought by the knights, Erk, Rath, and Lucius. He couldn’t see I was looking at him curiously. “Looks like the others have it under control. Everyone! Break into pairs and search the castle!”

He must have risked his life multiple times getting to me. His staff had been broken before, so he was truly defenseless against all these lancemen, swordsmen, axemen – and if he’d been any sooner, what could he have done? Gotten hit by the dark magic spell too? But he’d still come for me with all his speed, without even thinking about it, it seemed, and he’d been worried about me. Really worried. Maybe he was afraid of dark magic?

Serra healed me, and Ceniro came with Nils and me to look for his sister.

 

It wasn’t until later in the evening that I got time to go over what had happened earlier.

Okay. Serra was right. He liked me.

So why did my heart go thump? It wasn’t like it was the first time my life had been saved. But even when Rath had saved me and I first made eye contact with him, my heart hadn’t gone thump. It had been happy, excited to see a Sacaean, but not in a giddy way like now.

I had always thought I’d only be attracted to Sacaean men. I’d grown up surrounded by hunters, warriors, herders, with straight black or green hair, and lean, serious faces that sometimes hid spirits as playful as any kitsune – and that was what I thought attractive. I had thought my heart would be won by a man who was my equal with the sword, or who could ride like the wind and nail a swallow in mid-flight. A confident man, practical and strong and not lacking in humour like some of the warriors in the Lorca.

Not a shy Lycian boy with brown hair who couldn’t even hold a sword.

When I thought about it some more, it started to make some sense. He and Rath – the closest example I had to hand – were both quiet people who thought more than they spoke, both intense under the right circumstances, and they both treated me with the respect of an equal. And Ceniro was practical, most of the time, and he did have a dry sense of humour.

And he was brilliant, even I could tell that. I knew nothing about strategy, but the way we defeated not only bandits but assassins, mercenaries, even organized bands like the one we had fought today… only someone very skilled could have done that, and only the very best could do that without losing a single ally.

Still. I was being silly. It was just the moment. The fact that I knew he liked me didn’t change anything. It wouldn’t change anything until he said something about it.

And there was one advantage that Rath had over him – Rath wasn’t afraid to make eye contact. I mean, really! I’d been with Ceniro for weeks now, and half the time even if he was talking to me, he was looking at the ground, or his hands, or off into the distance. If he looked at me, it was when I wasn’t looking. Which wasn’t fair.

 

I tried not to show that I was annoyed with him the next day or two, although it was difficult – I found it hard to hide emotions. But it helped that he was as withdrawn as ever, and we were both focusing on the much more important task of recovering Ninian’s ring from the villains who had kidnapped her. I wondered if he did notice my slight change in demeanour at all. I hoped not.

But what didn’t really help me was an irritated, contrary desire to talk to him more, to force him to make eye contact more. It was rather mean of me, I knew, but I couldn’t quite help it.

The first time I tried was when I was standing on the edge of camp, almost on the edge of Caelin, overlooking a wooded valley with a river flowing through it.

He came up behind me. I could recognize his steps by now, and he was not well-versed in moving quietly. “Nice view, isn’t it?”

“It’s quite lovely,” I said. “I’m enjoying seeing so many forests. Sacae doesn’t have any, except maybe a few trees along the rivers and streams.”

“I want to see them too anyway,” he said, standing beside me and looking out as well. “Sacae doesn’t need trees to be beautiful. But this is one reason why I love Lycia.”

“I imagine they’re great for hunting,” I said. “Although also great for getting ambushed in.”

He winced. “Yes, it’s been known to happen. Although if you’ve ever heard of the folk hero Merry Ryan, he was said to have been the sort to rob from the rich to give to the poor, and he lived in the forests of Tania.”

I peered around at him. He wasn’t looking at me, just staring at the distant river. “So a good bandit? That sounds like an oxymoron.”

Finally he glanced at me, a faintly amused look hovering in the corner of his mouth. “Perhaps, but it’s a good story. Anyway, Tania’s even prettier than this.”

“Oh? How so?” No, don’t look back at the view, keep eye contact. You can do it. I moved to stand more in front of him – not too obviously, I hoped.

“Mountains.” His whole face lit up with a huge, involuntary smile, and suddenly those big grey eyes were fixed on mine, and not letting go. “You should see it – it’s right against the mountains that border Bern, and those dark green forests run right up the sides of the mountains until they fade away into grey stone and snow. There are lakes there the colour of your dress, and meadows of flowers scarlet as dawn. It all makes you feel so small, but the air is so crisp it makes you feel more alive than ever.” He looked a little sheepish. “Even if you’re starving and crisp air just makes you hungrier, too.”

…Those eyes were mesmerizing. I stared until I realized what I was doing and shook myself a little. “Water the colour of my deel? Surely that’s not possible, unless something horrible happened to it.”

“No, it’s perfectly natural. It tastes a little funny, yes. But…” He glanced back at the view, and then back to me. “I was only there once, passing through, for a week. I’d love to go back. But you should see Caelin first. It might not have Tania’s wild rawness, but Caelin is a wonderful place. And Tania doesn’t have a lot of people. Caelin has lots of people, good people. Even a mouse like me can tell that.”

Now I was the one wanting to break eye contact. “You really love traveling.”

Another wide smile. “I hope I’m not boring you.”

“Not when you obviously love it so much.” My heart was beating too hard. I had to escape. Did I want to escape? He was so interesting when talking about things that he found exciting. And his eyes were so beautiful…

Oh no.