I gave up; couldn’t get to the past without Suzu-chan! Besides, she has a cute smile. : )

Sky Clad Kansokusha was my soundtrack for Kurisu’s determination, just as it was for Okabe’s determination in Episode 23. : D

Chapter 5: Ventral Pallidum Insomnia, Chapter 7: Dreamworld Poiesis

Chapter 6: Divergence Hariolation

It was the evening of August 15^th, and the time-leap machine was almost finished, practice lending me speed in its construction. But right now, I stared from the text on my phone asking me to come to the roof of the hotel, to the time machine that stood there. “I don’t understand.”

“You said that you’d say that,” the brown-haired girl said patiently. “You decided to break out of the loop you had trapped yourself in, and spent your life developing a proper time machine, although my appearance on this date in this particular worldline certainly helped, apparently. You asked me to come back to now to help you out, to get more answers that you can’t reach right now.”

“How should I believe you?” I demanded. “How do I know I really sent you? How come I haven’t seen you before?” Continue reading →

These titles just keep getting longer, don’t they? XD The chapter is not very long, however. I’m not 100% satisfied with the philosophical discussion.

Chapter 4: Antarctic Primavera, Chapter 6: Divergence Hariolation

Chapter 5: Ventral Pallidum Insomnia

It was August 12^th on the sixth or seventh time leap. We’d made some progress, after I convinced him to help each time, although a lot of it was theoretical since neither of us wanted to risk rebuilding the Phone Microwave and jumping worldlines again. Yet, at least. This meant that understanding the ‘how’ of the matter was pretty much beyond our reach. But we could still try to figure out the ‘why’, and that could lead me to useful answers.

Okabe had confessed that his migraines were actually moments when he’d start seeing and feeling other worldlines, which sort-of-but-not-really explained why there would be moments when he was there and then not there, and then there again. So far, the only situation in which anyone had been physically moved out of or within a worldline was if there was a time machine involved. But again, we weren’t going to learn ‘how’, not yet, anyway.

“I believe that Steins;Gate is unstable,” he announced one day, and I stared at him in disbelief. Continue reading →

Now here’s where things start to get a little different. : D

Chapter 3: Vetitive Liaison, Chapter 5: Ventral Pallidum Insomnia

Chapter 4: Antarctic Primavera

I went home to my hotel, alone. Was there anything else I could say to him, anything at all? Not necessarily to change his mind, because his resolve was set and I knew nothing I could say would change that.

I stared at my phone all night, thinking, sometimes crying. Was I ready to live in a world without Okabe? At least it wasn’t like he died violently, like Mayuri or I had. He just… ceased to exist in this worldline, and then was overwritten. Like computer data being formatted, changing the past to match the present. And he was facing it with dignity. Dignity I had once thought would be difficult for a self-proclaimed ‘mad scientist’ to have.

Damn him and his heroic qualities. There was no one in the world like Okabe Rintarou, with his energy, his intelligence, his dramatic make-believe world, his steadfast caring heart. And now there wouldn’t be anyone like him again. Continue reading →

I was reading comments over on the Steins;Gate wiki, and someone pointed out that Kurisu’s journey is a lot like Okabe’s journey through the Beta worldline – she goes through time twice to try to save him, and fails the first time… Okay, I understand that, but I wish she’d shown more gumption about it, instead of falling over and declaring she knew how he felt.

On rewatching her first time-leap, leaping back to the party and all the cues there was really subtly effective; it’s too bad it didn’t really fit in this worldline. I did use the sad confrontation scene almost verbatim, because that was a really great monologue. There are a lot of really great scenes in this movie! I love the voice-acting so much. I also added a couple things I felt Kurisu should have brought up.

I also don’t like overusing Suzuha. I feel Suzu spends a lot of time jumping back to hang out with her teen-aged dad, and it feels too convenient sometimes. Oh, she’ll show up in my fic, I can’t get to kid-Okabe any other way, and in the end I couldn’t get to adult-Okabe without her either, but she gets less time here and is not the primary reason Kurisu bothers to do anything. Save her for the future, darnit!

Chapter 2: Relive Atrophy, Chapter 4: Antarctic Primavera

Chapter 3: Vetitive Liaison

I was doing pretty well on my latest Japanese trip. I gave my lectures, focusing around my new thesis about dreams, and there were people there, and they asked interesting questions, questions that would help me refine my research. And of course I visited my good friends Daru and Mayuri every day, and we went about together often, or just messed around with Daru’s latest inventions in the lab.

And yet… about a week after I’d come to Japan, I started feeling strange. Not physically strange, no. But I just had this feeling, a feeling I couldn’t even define. Continue reading →

Some changes here: no horrifying PTSD flashbacks/worldline jumping during the party, at least not that Kurisu witnesses (I hold that Okabe still went out to the park and howled at the heavens afterwards), but a more direct revelation of worldline jumping, and also extra days to use later. Laundromat scene almost entirely stolen because that was one of the best parts of the movie.

Personally I’m pronouncing ‘relive’ (which I made up) as “ree*-laiv” (rhymes with ‘speed-dive’) but you can pronounce it how you please.

Chapter 1: Kymatological Barbecue, Chapter 3: Vetitive Liaison

Chapter 2: Relive Atrophy

About half an hour later, I was starting to feel more like myself again. Okabe stayed with me, getting me a cool damp cloth for my head and then sitting his gangly self down near the couch where I lay, just watching me. It should have made me uncomfortable, I could have accused him of being a pervert and started another fight, but there was something about this silent togetherness that seemed… normal, somehow.

“You feeling better?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I answered, trying to remember what I’d been doing when drunk. I’d hugged him, I think. That wasn’t too bad. I could live that down, and if I got teased, I could always blame it on the alcohol. Was that what adults did for fun? I’d studied the effects of alcohol on the brain, but feeling it for real… It wasn’t that much fun. People were strange. Continue reading →

Steins;Gate got me. But I didn’t like some things about the movie so I rewrote it. Some dialogue stolen, some dialogue original, may get wonky in places. In this chapter, you may be wondering what I changed and the answer is: not much. Changes come later. Also with lots of fluff because I like fluff! This website was useful for chapter names, ohohoho.

Chapter 2: Relive Atrophy

Chapter 1: Kymatological Barbecue

I braced myself nervously as the plane touched down on the runway, though there was hardly a bump this time. It still startled me and I almost yelped before I clapped my hands over my mouth.

This was silly. It wasn’t as if I hadn’t been to Japan before. I should be more at ease than last time I came.

But it was the first time since I’d met them. …Him. Continue reading →