Tag Archives: Star Wars

SWTOR class descriptions

Jedi Knight: like Luke Skywalker, but without the whining. Or the charisma. Also involves attacking the Emperor’s secret invisible space fort.

Jedi Consular: spends most of their time curing STDs (Sith-Transmitted Diseases); in their spare time acts as a Wise Counselor who gets ignored mostly.

Republic Trooper: get betrayed by your entire squad defecting to the Empire; track them down for great justice. If you’re a woman, you can pretend you’re playing Commander Shepard. (I am)

Smuggler: “screw the war, I’m gettin’ rich!” (and embarrassing the guy who stole my ship lol) (seriously why is there a head in a jar in my cargo hold)

Sith Warrior: rises to power, betrayed by their master, survives and seeks revenge. Solid story up until you learn the master actually gets his info from a spirit who is a manifestation of the dark side even though he has an extensive spy network.

Sith Inquisitor: former slave who eats Force-ghosts for power-ups, then gets indigestion and has to find a cure before the Force-ghosts kill them. Also the Keeper of Historical Sith Knowledge sometimes when they feel like it.

Bounty Hunter: like Boba Fett, but with more macho chest-pounding.

Imperial Agent: Infiltration! Intrigue! Trying not to die for or by annoying Sith who don’t follow the rules!

 

Basically, Bioware fails to maintain logic, internal or external, whenever the Force is involved.

Quinnkuliina: Baked Potatoes

He’d returned from his mission and headed for the ship’s mess for sustenance before he began making dinner – Akuliina certainly wasn’t going to touch anything in the kitchen, the woman would survive on canned legumes and sweet ices if it wasn’t for him…
Or would she? He stepped into the mess and stopped short. His wife was holding a root vegetable and viciously stabbing it with a fork, as if it were a particularly nasty Jedi. “What are you doing?”
“Enjoying myse- what does it look like I’m doing?” she demanded. “What are you doing back so soon? I thought you wouldn’t be finished for another hour.”
“Things went exceptionally well this time. I think that one has enough holes in it.”
“The holonet said to do it, or else it would explode when cooked,” she grumbled, putting it down and moving on to the next one and stabbing it with equal enthusiasm.
“That is correct,” he said. “Would you like any help?”
The glare she gave him would have fried the roots on their own without any help from the oven. “No. I can do this. Go away.”
“As you wish, my lady.”
Emperor’s breath, she was adorable when she tried new things.

My Cruel Valentine: Chapter 15: Troth

I’m done! …until I play Rise of the Hutt Cartel! And I have two sequels set in the future planned! HALP

Difficult to have a boss fight the equal of the previous two. I tried!

 

Chapter 15: Troth

The great ornate door of the Dark Council chamber rose before her and she strode in at Vowrawn’s side, glowering, straight and proud in her red light battle armour. The Dark Council was arranged on either side of the chamber, six seats to a side, though some of those seats were empty; ahead was a great empty throne for the Emperor. More symbolic than practical now, she knew… and yet an ever-present reminder of who their true master was. She nodded to the one man on the Dark Council whom she knew personally, the young red Zabrak named Murlesson with the red hair and baleful yellow eyes, present via hologram from his ship; he nodded back gravely. The power in the room was thick as a cloud, intoxicating and heady. She felt her eyes brighten under its influence. Continue reading

My Cruel Valentine: Chapter 14: The Wrath of the Wrath

Bit disjointed, this chapter. Corellia is big. And I’m not so interested in the ‘plot’ as in these two emotionally unhealthy idiots. Actually, Baras’s Force-woman thing is completely ridiculous (why didn’t he ask her about Jaesa, for instance?) so that’s been scrapped. And replaced by a giant FF/DBZ style fight that I’m super excited about!!

EDIT: added a couple bits in which Vowrawn becomes Quinnkuliina’s couple’s counselor lol

 

Chapter 14: The Wrath of the Wrath

If she’d been distant and hard after Baras’s betrayal, she was remote and impenetrable now. He stayed on the ship, in the cockpit as much as he could, while she went to fight Baras and the Republic with Pierce, or Jaesa, or even Broonmark. A Talz was better company than him now, but that couldn’t hurt him more than the way she looked at him when they were around. Continue reading

My Cruel Valentine: Chapter 13: Asphyxiation

And here

WE

GO

 

Chapter 13: Asphyxiation

She was right; he did feel more like himself the next day. Especially since she was gracious enough to let him sleep in. He shouldn’t have; he should have been at his post at the same time as always, but she’d risen without waking him, and disabled the alarm on his chrono. He couldn’t say she didn’t take care of her crew. When he’d been her age, he would have been just fine on three hours of sleep, but now he was in his thirties, he appreciated it. Continue reading

My Cruel Valentine: Chapter 12: Personal

Almost wrote Broysc as going completely insane, imagining he was back on the barge, grabbing Akuliina’s chest, and then Quinn punching him to death, but it didn’t really fit after what the game set up. : P

 

Chapter 12: Personal

She regarded the wall that was surely a door with slight irritation. If Vette had been there, she would have been able to figure out how to get past it right away. But she had Jaesa and Quinn with her. Quinn’s mission to contact Imperial High Command had been stalled when no one higher in rank than Commodore would speak with him, so there was nothing he could do about Moff Broysc at the moment. So she brought him to support her with his ranged capabilities. Continue reading

My Cruel Valentine: Chapter 11: Invasions

So how about that Star Wars movie, then? It was okay. There were things about it that I liked. There were things I appreciated. There were things that made NO F***ING SENSE. It was all right for a Star Wars movie. Maybe I’ll make a blog post about it.

 

Chapter 11: Invasions

Hoth again. Force, why would anyone choose to make even a last desperate hide-out in such a forbidding place, let alone a base of operations? Murlesson had once mentioned ancient Sith Temples and all sorts of ridiculous things. She shouldn’t have been here even once, let alone twice. But she supposed it was a decent place to hide. Continue reading

My Cruel Valentine: Chapter 10: Breaking

Maybe it’s a BIT early for Baras to be phoning Quinn. But considering after my friend played it and before I played it, I had the idea that Quinn had something to do with the betrayal on Quesh, I wanted to introduce it early in Part 3 to give Quinn lots of time to stew.

 

Chapter 10: Breaking

The incessant pinging of the holocomm drew him to the back of the cockpit. It was, of course, his job to screen all inbound calls. It wasn’t anyone else’s business who was calling Akuliina, and it was unlikely that any of the others would use proper decorum when answering.

But it was the frequency that he never answered – the Basilisk’s Sting, Moff Broysc’s flagship. Quinn sighed and hit the ignore button, preparing to ignore an irrational half-hour long rant. Continue reading

My Cruel Valentine: Chapter 9: Turning Tide

One of the chapters I’ve been looking forward to for a long time.

Another thing I’ve been listening to while I write is Crypt of the NecroDancer.

I know a lot of artists including me make the face they’re drawing, but I do it as a writer as well. Is that weird?

 

Chapter 9: Turning Tide

“Has our mysterious problem been solved? Are we active?”

“Sir, best guess is yes. All systems appear to be online. Your detonator should be live.”

“Then let’s pack up. We’ll blow this cavern and the Imperial Command Centre sky high.” Continue reading

My Cruel Valentine: Chapter 8: Weakness

Name-dropped Murlesson (Sith Inquisitor) again. Akuliina doesn’t know he’s dating a sort-of Jedi, teehee.

Battle music provided by MGR:R.

 

Chapter 8: Weakness

She emerged from Baras’s office a few minutes after she’d gone in, her face coolly confident as always, but there was something… different about her. Some sort of nervous energy was showing through her mask of control.

He stepped forward. “What is your mission, my lady?”

“Nothing any of you can assist with,” she told them. “You’re all dismissed.” She hesitated. “I won’t lie, it’s a difficult mission. You may wish to prepare for reassignment.” She grinned. “Though it’s only a remote possibility.” Continue reading